Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Pre-VATS Brain Dump

I feel like on some level I've been failing y'all lately just because when I write it's recipes, which if you do try them they will not let you down but also I guess I've just been keeping busy waiting on the VATS. On some level this will just be a brain dump, no rhyme or reason or flow so I will probably go with bullet points just to keep some form of organization of topic.

-I named the blog "It's the Little Things" because I feel life is all about the little things that keeps you happy/sane/regulated/content/in perspective plus it's an awesome play on my name. My most recent "little thing" obviously is cooking because well it keeps me busy, planning, thinking and out of complete brain apathy. I have also started the flowery headband creations because it will be something I can do that 1) are cute 2) make great gifts 3) will be perfect in Katie's wedding.

-I have learned I am not good at waiting for major procedures. My first one was done two days after coughing up blood so it was a whirlwind. My second was 10 days after graduation but having Kristy the Cysty (the ovarian cyst) and being in 9.99 pain out of a 10 distracted me for that time frame. Now you have the VATS, I have had 15 days of waiting, anticipating and I have just had to keep myself busy some how. I feel like I have already made a title for a soon to be possible drug induced post named "Kristy vs VATS: The Royal Rumble of Pain"

-I was driving today, probably not thinking about the best results for tomorrow and a song came on and I know you're about to scratch your head, but it was "Friends in Low Places" by Garth Brooks. I remember things like dates and people and events well and a lot are always associated with music. That song is Matt, has been since 7th grade and will be for the rest of my life. I am not sure if I have ever mentioned Matt in my blog, this one or Caring Bridge but we met in 6th grade in homeroom and always ended up in similar classes and homerooms throughout middle school. High school we lost touch a school of 2,000 with a grade of 500 and having off setting schedules where I had Math and Social Studies in Fall while he had Science and English. Our junior year he was diagnosed with Ewings Sarcoma after fighting for almost two years, going into remission once and given the news that there was nothing else that could be done Spring of Senior year, he lost his battle just 2 weeks after graduation. "Friends in Low Places" was his favorite song and today when it came on I kind of just felt it was Matt and everything I have done over the years have always been with Matt in mind. Our last day of 8th grade we were in our home room just sitting and talking about what we wanted to do with our lives after high school, after college and it breaks my heart that he never got that chance. Also I cannot mention Matt without mentioning Joel who also went to middle and high school with us who was diagnosed with leukemia our freshman year of college and lost his battle January of what would have been our sophomore year. This makes me the 3rd of our class to have cancer, the first girl and hopefully first survivor.

-I don't always go hardcore touchy feely in my blog because well most of the time they are momentary lapses or feelings. When I had my biopsy in May I knew it was Hodgkins, there was no doubt about it deep inside my head what it was and what was going to happen. This go around I feel different about it mainly from looking at the scan but honestly I won't know what it really is until probably Monday.

-It's snowing outside and it's a nice little fear of mine that this will cause issues tomorrow but hoping good thoughts.

Well until later next week sometime probably: Have A Great Weekend!

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