Things I Wish I Didn't Have To Deal With Because Of Cancer/Chemo
- Weird skin reactions to getting my eye brows done (I had them done Saturday and now my skin's irritated and it never has done that for the past 5 years)
- Weird skin reactions to certain lotions-stuff that worked before chemo didn't work during chemo which now does work after chemo and stuff that worked during chemo irritates my skin now. If you followed that I'm impressed
- The fear of never having kids
- Smelling everything: good, bad, or ugly. Let me say I never really had hardcore scent senses before chemo but now it seems as if everything that has a scent I can smell and they linger so bad smells are terrible. I can also smell lemon hand sanitizer from across the room (which I hate the lemon so much and Mama kept using I threw away the almost full bottle)
- Being a 23 year old bum with a college degree living with my parents (I love y'all but really...)
- Having to miss camp last summer
- Not being able to really schedule much in advance because there just has been too much up in the air to do so because I want to be at camp this summer but I have no idea whether I can or not
- Living in Georgia and not in Alabama where I would prefer (no offense GA readers)
- Being on a first name basis with like everyone at Emory, Sunday during church Brian our preacher was talking about seeing a doctor for more than 5 minutes and my first thought was A) I see my doctor too much and I'm such a "primadonna" as Ken my PA says they end up spending a lot of time with me B) I answer caller ID the phone calls from my nurse as "What's up Christina" she laughs but it's what happens when at this point I've memorized phone numbers from Emory
- Weird hair stuff, honestly some times it just doesn't make sense last week I had a chunk of hair that just stuck out like Alfalfa but on the side of my head...it was really attractive...
- Having too much time on my hands
- Seeing everyone else's life move on and forward and I'm just in a holding pattern, this is so hard to have to cope with because being in college you just keep moving on and doing things and you're life is just going so fast there are so many check lists to complete then you graduate and are diagnosed with cancer and it's just all halted and then you finish treatment then it's starting to accelerate then you have a bad scan then you have more tests and then you get sick and then you're just still in this holding pattern
- Weird germaphobe issues that I formed during chemo that now are hard to break. I haven't had a Jersey Mike sub in over 7 months and let me say that is a record.
- Overly emotional at times my cancer friend in Miles told me about this but I didn't quite believe him until more recently. Let's just say during Christmas I cried at a Folgers commercial...yea I have turned into that girl
- I'm now grossed out by touching raw meat, I have never been scared or fearful of things in the kitchen but I'm working to get over my disgust of raw meats I think I washed my hands 4 times during dinner prep earlier because I cracked a few eggs.
- Conquering my fear of needles-I used to be afraid and would end up passing out, now I don't even flinch and I feel at this point I could put in my own IV and do my own blood work if need be
- Being woken up at 7:30am by Emory with phone calls
- My port
Also tomorrow I get to go back to Emory to see Dr. D about my port and a PET scan and Wednesday I'm meeting with Dr. F about what my scan says and whether or not there will be a biopsy.