Monday, January 24, 2011

Things I Wish I Didn't Have To Deal With Because Of Cancer/Chemo

I often am amused by my quirks and randomness one of which I love bullet points and lists. I wish I could share some of my college notes because then I feel it would give a great insight into how my brain works as my bullet points often went insane and if I did share my notes y'all would probably go insane. Anyway I guess I am introducing another aspect and label of my blog: lists. These lists will be of a great variety of things but today's are based on my #1 because of recently having them done.

Things I Wish I Didn't Have To Deal With Because Of Cancer/Chemo
  1. Weird skin reactions to getting my eye brows done (I had them done Saturday and now my skin's irritated and it never has done that for the past 5 years)
  2. Weird skin reactions to certain lotions-stuff that worked before chemo didn't work during chemo which now does work after chemo and stuff that worked during chemo irritates my skin now. If you followed that I'm impressed
  3. The fear of never having kids
  4. Smelling everything: good, bad, or ugly. Let me say I never really had hardcore scent senses before chemo but now it seems as if everything that has a scent I can smell and they linger so bad smells are terrible. I can also smell lemon hand sanitizer from across the room (which I hate the lemon so much and Mama kept using I threw away the almost full bottle)
  5. Being a 23 year old bum with a college degree living with my parents (I love y'all but really...)
  6. Having to miss camp last summer
  7. Not being able to really schedule much in advance because there just has been too much up in the air to do so because I want to be at camp this summer but I have no idea whether I can or not
  8. Living in Georgia and not in Alabama where I would prefer (no offense GA readers)
  9. Being on a first name basis with like everyone at Emory, Sunday during church Brian our preacher was talking about seeing a doctor for more than 5 minutes and my first thought was A) I see my doctor too much and I'm such a "primadonna" as Ken my PA says they end up spending a lot of time with me B) I answer caller ID the phone calls from my nurse as "What's up Christina" she laughs but it's what happens when at this point I've memorized phone numbers from Emory
  10. Weird hair stuff, honestly some times it just doesn't make sense last week I had a chunk of hair that just stuck out like Alfalfa but on the side of my head...it was really attractive...
  11. Having too much time on my hands
  12. Seeing everyone else's life move on and forward and I'm just in a holding pattern, this is so hard to have to cope with because being in college you just keep moving on and doing things and you're life is just going so fast there are so many check lists to complete then you graduate and are diagnosed with cancer and it's just all halted and then you finish treatment then it's starting to accelerate then you have a bad scan then you have more tests and then you get sick and then you're just still in this holding pattern
  13. Weird germaphobe issues that I formed during chemo that now are hard to break. I haven't had a Jersey Mike sub in over 7 months and let me say that is a record. 
  14. Overly emotional at times my cancer friend in Miles told me about this but I didn't quite believe him until more recently. Let's just say during Christmas I cried at a Folgers commercial...yea I have turned into that girl
  15. I'm now grossed out by touching raw meat, I have never been scared or fearful of things in the kitchen but I'm working to get over my disgust of raw meats I think I washed my hands 4 times during dinner prep earlier because I cracked a few eggs. 
  16. Conquering my fear of needles-I used to be afraid and would end up passing out, now I don't even flinch and I feel at this point I could put in my own IV and do my own blood work if need be 
  17. Being woken up at 7:30am by Emory with phone calls 
  18. My port
Speaking of dinner I'll post later tonight about my experience with Praline Pecan French Toast. Yep you heard right we're having breakfast for dinner tonight at The Little House.

Also tomorrow I get to go back to Emory to see Dr. D about my port and a PET scan and Wednesday I'm meeting with Dr. F about what my scan says and whether or not there will be a biopsy.

Happy Monday
Rebecca

1 comment:

  1. I just wanted you to know I am still reading, following and praying. I really have no words. I could tell you to be strong but you are already doing that. I could tell you how awesome and inspiring you are but you already know that. I could tell you that God "has this", but you already know that. Just know we love you and are always here, no matter what!!!

    Can't wait to hear about the french toast! We love breakfast for supper! ;)

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